I want you to turn my life up down. The narcissist is the narcissistic supply of the codependent—the other only exists as a drug that fuels your own self-acceptance. The codependent attempts to “pay” for the drug and might be fair in the trade, attempting collaborative game, not without throwing tantrums or ultimatums. The narcissist instead “lures,” offers superficial goods, caters to weaknesses, extracts resources before discarding, playing competitive game from the start.

Every narcissist move calculated to win over the codependent; every codependent move to control, tame, keep the narcissist or “work things out.” The narcissist finds someone to adore them; codependent finds something to adore. Both fill self-acceptance until exhausted. Goods go to narcissist, crap to codependent. If codependent has martyr/victim complex and narcissist sadist angle, it drags on. Partners stay trapped in toxic validation loop, mistaking it for love. Real connection impossible.

The codependent ends up asking how all the goods were there yet they got nothing, regretting what they paid. The narcissist annoyed at “fair exchange” attempt, but superior over codependent’s weakness, blindness. After rounds, codependents understand competitive games, switch to narcissism. Dating cycle repeats: new victim, new supply. Both stay broken, seeking external fix. True self-acceptance absent. Relationship becomes battlefield, not partnership.

To turn life up down, reject supply games. Build internal acceptance first—no chasing adoration or luring victims. Seek collaborative partners who trade value fairly, no manipulation. Recognize lures, tantrums as red flags. Choose people who challenge growth, not feed wounds. Dating thrives on mutual respect, not extraction. Heal by dropping roles. Authentic love flows from wholeness, not voids. Quit the drug; find real connection. Your worth isn’t other’s gaze.